Celebrate Recovery

For years, I had an uncle who struggled with drug and alcohol addiction. I saw him repeatedly try and fail to get free. I watched the roller coaster ride from a distance. Recently, I got to talk to him during my dad's open heart surgery and could tell things were REALLY DIFFERENT. Not just as far as the addiction was concerned, but his whole attitude. He was truly radiating Jesus. I just couldn't believe it. I asked him about it and he told me about a group called "Celebrate Recovery" that meets at Seacoast Church in Mt. Pleasant on Friday nights. So tonight, I decided I would attend this group called "Celebrate Recovery". My whole reason for going was to "help a friend" with "her problem" and just be there for support. Boy, was I in for a surprise. For years, I have wondered what was wrong with me (smile), but seriously, I think I found a real answer. I am co-dependent. Nice. Great "label". Now I'm "sick"......but really, aren't we all? If you are wondering what co-dependency actually is, read on:

Codependency - What is it?
Codependency is when a person has a strong desire to control people around them, including their spouse, children or co-workers. Codependents believe they are somehow more capable than others, who need their direction or suggestions to fulfill tasks they are responsible to complete. They feel compassion for people who may be hurting and feel they should be the one to help them. Codependent people give of their time, emotions, finances, and other resources. They have a very difficult time saying "no" to any requests made of them.

Codependency - A Matter of Control
Codependency, for others, doesn't express itself in a desire to control, but instead, in the need to be controlled by others. Because it is nearly impossible for Codependents to say "no" to people, they may find themselves the victims in physically and emotionally abusive relationships. They believe that if they can be good enough, or loving enough, they can change the other person's behavior. They sometimes blame themselves for the abusive behavior: "If only I had not forgotten to do the dishes, he would not have had to hit me."

Codependency causes internal struggles with the opinions of others and cannot make decisions as a result. Codependents may make decisions based on what they think other people want them to do. They are never happy because they spend all of their time trying to make everyone around them happy. While they may believe that their motive for helping people is compassion, in reality they are doing it because they want love or approval.

Codependency can also cause struggles in the area of time management. Codependents may feel they never have enough time to fulfill all of their commitments because they have made too many. The most important commitments and relationships are often neglected because they are too busy helping other people, participating in multiple activities, and running from one event to another throughout the week. This also relates to their inability to say "no" when asked to volunteer, attend a function, or help a friend. The idea of not volunteering, not helping or not attending is unthinkable. They may believe they are not being responsible, not being a good friend, or not being a good person if they refuse any requests. However, many of those situations and relationships leave them feeling hurt, angry, or resentful.

Codependency - The Questions

Do you find yourself having a hard time making decisions so you make them based on other people's opinions?

Is it important to you that people like you and want to be your friend?


Do you have a strong desire to help others, but deep down you know you do it so that they will like or love you?

Do you seem to notice everyone else's problems and have a need to tell them what you think they should do to solve them?


Do you feel anxious, angry or upset when people don't do things you want them to do, or do things the way you want them to do them?

Do you find yourself in relationships where you do all the giving and the other person does all the taking?


Are you involved in activities that demand all of your time and energy and you are neglecting your family or yourself?

http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/codependency-recovery.htm

If any of you suffer from an addiction of ANY KIND, I strongly encourage you to "Celebrate Recovery". There are so many testimonies of freedom. This group started out of Rick Warren's church who authored the book "The Purpose Driven Life".

While I am a little overwhelmed by this co-dependency thing, I am excited to know what I'm dealing with and begin my road to recovery through the power of Jesus and the Cross.