Co-Dependency

On the surface, co-dependency sounds like "christian teaching". Codependents always put others first before taking care of themselves. (Aren't Christians to put others first?) Codependents give themselves away. (Shouldn't Christians do the same?) Codependents martyr themselves. (Christianity honors its martyrs.)

As a codependent you:

*assume responsibility for others' feelings and behaviors.
*feel guilty about others' feelings and behaviors.
*have difficulty identifying what you are feeling.
*have difficulty expressing feelings
*are afraid of your own anger, yet sometimes erupt in rage.
*worry about how others may respond to your feelings, opinions and behavior.
*have difficulty making decisions.
*are afraid of being hurt/rejected by others.
*minimize, alter or deny how you truly feel.
*are very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
*are afraid to express differing opinions or feeling.
*value others opinions and feelings more than your own.
*put other people's needs and desires before your own.
*embarrassed to receive recognition, praise or gifts.
*judge everything you think, say, or do harshly, as never "good enough".
*are a perfectionist.
*are extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
*do not ask others to meet your needs or desires.
*do not perceive yourself as lovable or worthwhile.
*compromise your own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.

In it's broadest sense, codependency can be defined as an addiction to people, behavior or things. Codependency is the fallacy of trying to control interior feelings by controlling people, things and events on the outside. To the codependent, control or the lack of it is central to every aspect of life.